Mon, Tues, Wed = 0, Thurs = 1, Fri = 4, Sat = 5, Sun = 5. On schedule, 15 for the week, 3 days dry.
My wife clearly knows I drink, but I have not been sure about the rest of my family who knew I had a problem, especially my brother and sister. I suspected they knew since my wife is not very good at keeping secrets and I have been drinking more and more publicly as time goes on. I suspected they knew and just chose not to bring it up. Supporting this theory was that my sister has not asked me about it in a long time. She used to ask me every few months how the “drinking thing” was going.
I recently went over to my brother’s who lives nearby for a nieces birthday party. An hour or so prior to the party, he called me to tell me that he had no O’Doul’s which he often keeps on hand for me. For him to go out of his way to make this call leads me to believe that he really doesn’t know.
I can’t really explain why, but I really don’t want to have the conversation with my brother and sister. However, this creates somewhat of an uncomfortable situation for me. For one, I avoid drinking in public in places where they might show up. For clarification, I am now speaking of my brother and his wife. None of us go out very often, to bars anyway. But, I would like to be able to go out to the local bar and have a beer without being nervous about who might see me. Also, when we are at family gatherings, I either don’t drink or hide it for fear that they will see me.
I keep figuring some day it will come up and I will explain to them as briefly as I can why I started drinking and why they should not worry. Until then …..