Still not drinking in front of the family

Mon, Tues, Wed = 0, Thurs = 1, Fri = 4, Sat = 5, Sun = 5.  On schedule, 15 for the week, 3 days dry. 

My wife clearly knows I drink, but I have not been sure about the rest of my family who knew I had a problem, especially my brother and sister. I suspected they knew since my wife is not very good at keeping secrets and I have been drinking more and more publicly as time goes on.  I suspected they knew and just chose not to bring it up. Supporting this theory was that my sister has not asked me about it in a long time.  She used to ask me every few months how the “drinking thing” was going.

I recently went over to my brother’s who lives nearby for a nieces birthday party.  An hour or so prior to the party, he called me to tell me that he had no O’Doul’s which he often keeps on hand for me.  For him to go out of his way to make this call leads me to believe that he really doesn’t know.

I can’t really explain why, but I really don’t want to have the conversation with my brother and sister.  However, this creates somewhat of an uncomfortable situation for me.  For one, I avoid drinking in public in places where they might show up.   For clarification, I am now speaking of my brother and his wife.  None of us go out very often, to bars anyway.  But, I would like to be able to go out to the local bar and have a beer without being nervous about who might see me.  Also, when we are at family gatherings, I either don’t drink or hide it for fear that they will see me.

I keep figuring some day it will come up and I will explain to them as briefly as I can why I started drinking and why they should not worry.  Until then …..

Alcohol and Sweets

Mon, Tues, Wed = 0, Thurs = 2, Fri = 5, Sat = 5, Sun = 3.  15 for the week, 3 dry days, right on target.

I have heard more than once before that once heavy drinkers who quit or cut back, often have an increase cravings for sweets.  I think it has something to do with replacing the carbs.

I think this may have happened to me.  I was never big on sweets.  However, over the last few years, my consumption of different types of sweets has slowly crept up.  Usually, it is a couple of cookies or pieces of candy after lunch and dinner. Occasionally, it might be a piece of cake or pie or something like that.  On top my after meal desserts, I have found myself craving an additional sweets mid afternoon for a snack.  Finally, I have come to a point where I probably eat ice cream before going to bed 5 nights a week.   All this coming from a person who 5 years ago only ate sweets on special occasions.

While my weight is the same, I do believe that I am consuming too much sugar and the bad fat that often goes with it.  So, I have decided to cut back. For starters, I gave up sweets for Lent.  That will be 40 days without.  Instead of having chocolate or ice cream after dinner, I am having fresh fruit.  And, my wife decided to join me so I can have some company.

After Lent, I will have to find another way to control it.  I am ok with eating the occasional dessert, but not the amounts I was consuming recently.  Wow, another thing to limit. What next, coffee?

If my wife replaced vodka with water?

I received a comment from a wife telling me that she knows her husband hides vodka, and she knows where he hides it. So, from time to time she empties some of it out and replaces it with water.  She asked me in the comment if I would be “pissed” if I found out.  I thought this questions was interesting enough to turn into a blog post. So, here is my answer:

 While the answer to your question is easy, I have to admit, I had to think about it for a bit as I never considered it before.   Would I be upset if I found out my wife was substituting water for my precious vodka?  Absolutely not.  First, I would applaud her courageousness and awareness.  Second, I would probably thank her. Even though I don’t think I drink too much these days, less vodka is better than more.

 That being said, I still don’t believe she knows I am hiding vodka.  But, I may never know.  As far as the hiding in general, I would rather not have to hide it.  I have mentioned before that I have no problem giving up the vodka.  If it were an easy situation, I would love to give up the vodka in lieu of being able to have 15 drinks of only beer or wine in a week.   Drinking only beer and wine is much easier to control.  I don’t often down glasses of either. On the other hand, it is way too easy to shoot down 2 vodka drinks (3 oz.) in .5 seconds.

It took me a long time to even confide in my wife that I had been drinking.  I can’t remember without checking my own blog, but I had been drinking for well over a year before I told her.  Now she thinks I am only drinking 4 or 5 drinks a week in front of her. I am not sure how she would handle knowing that I am actually drinking 15 drinks a week.  The bottom line is I don’t want to mess up a good thing.  But, wait, would it not be better to have 15 in public as I just said.  Well, yes it would, but not at the risk of having to lower the 15 to another number. And, I expect that is what would happen. When she finds out I am drinking 15, she might agree to 10. Well, then I am back to hiding 5 anyway. 

So, I plan to continue on as things are now.  At some point in time, I know the drinking will come up again in conversation. When it does, maybe I will make the next move.

 Last week: Thurs – 1, Fri – 5, Sat – 6, Sun – 3.  Totals for the week, 15 drinks, 3 days dry. Exactly on plan.

Psychology today article on moderation and MM

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-addiction/201103/abstinence-is-not-the-only-option-learning-drink-responsibly-help

I am happy to see MM gaining acceptance as an alternative to abstaining permanently.

Weekly drinking summary

I am completely swamped with work right now, which is a good thing.  However, I wanted to give a quick summary of my week.

The last time I was a few days late, someone sent me a nasty comment telling me to update my blog immediately or take it down.  I was not offended. I was honored.

Mon, Tues, Wed = 0; Thurs = 2, Fri = 5, Sat = 5, Sun = 3.

Total drinks = 15

Total dry days = 3

Hit my goals or the week.  I will try and think of something more insightful to add later in the week.

I used to drink 60-70 drinks in a week. Wow !!!!

I was thinking to myself this morning:  3 years ago I was drinking a minimum of 40 drinks a week and often had as many as 70 in a week.  A typical week would have been 20 on a Saturday, 10 each on Friday and Sunday and about 6 per night during the week.  That comes out to 66 drinks in a week.  This went on for a long time.  Wow !!!!

Then, I had a one year attempt at limiting the drinks to one liter of vodka per week.  That comes out to a little over 22 drinks a week.  Some weeks I made it.   Some I didn’t.

Over the past 14 months, I have been consistently at 15 drinks per week, excluding the rare vacation or business trip.  Wow !!!!