I rarely drink on Mon, Tues, Wed. I am committed to a minimum of 3 days dryeach week and those are the days I normally choose as it is the heart of the work week. I normally don’t even think about drinking nor have cravings.
Last night was different. My wife and daughter were out at a park until 7:30pm. I usually quit work around 5:30 and then we all get ready for dinner around 6pm. During those extra 2 hours alone I was really craving a drink. I think it was the extra time alone, and the breaking of the routine. I came very close to having a drink several times, but ultimately held off.
I could easily have had one, or even 2 drinks and then took Thurs off for my 3rd dry day and still had 13 or 14 drinks for Fri, Sat and Sun (one carried over from last week). What I found interesting is why I was able to rationalize holding off. In AA they talk about thinking the drink through, what will happen after one, will it lead to more, etc.
My rationale was nothing like that. I figured, what is one drink going to do for me? Very little. So, why not save it for another day when I can have 5 or 6 and get an actual buzz. Also, because I know I have to get 3 dry days in, I like to get that out of the way as soon as possible in the week. This way, I know I can have a drink any day I want over the next 4. So, I held off. Once my family came home, all the urges went away.
Normal drinkers don’t have to go through all of this. Feel like a drink on Wed eve, have one. They go through the week drinking when they feel like it, rarely over do it, take dry days without even realizing it, and all is normal. Oh well, that is not me. At least I feel good that I can havea craving and not have a drink. A few years ago, that was not possible, the booze almost always won.
Now, I have 16 drinks to spread over the next 4 days. I will most likely have 1 or 2 tonight as I am only working a couple of hours tomorrow morning before the holiday weekend.