December is done and I survived. As mentioned in my last post, I did not count. I did go over my limits, but don’t think I went too overboard.
The one thing that kept me in check was I had to drive a lot, not far, but a lot. And, since drinking and driving don’t mix, I ended up waiting to late in the day when I was home to get buzzed.
I did learn a nice trick. Actually, it is not new, but I made good use of it this holiday season. I have lots of relatives within a mile. When visiting one of them, I will hold off drinking for a while, then tell my wife I am going home to get our dog. While home, I take a hefty shot of vodka and bring some more with me. I then tell my wife who is not much of a drinker, that she needs to drive home while I walk home with the dog. This allows me to get a nice buzz and enjoy the party without the risk of drinking and driving.
To many people, the thought that someone would plan like this is disturbing. Only an alcoholic or at least someone with a drinking problem would think like that. But, is it really crazy? I am ashamed to admit it, but among my family and circle of friends, most simply drank to excess and drove home anyway, often with kids. I think their thinking was that because it was just a short distance, it really was ok to drink and drive.
So, I ask which way of thinking is more troubling? The guy who hides shots of vodka and plans how he doesn’t have to drive, or the one that drives drunk. Of course you will say both. Unfortunately, that is not the world I live, nor do most of you I suspect.
I can also admit that I don’t drink and drive mainly because I don’t want to get caught. I am cocky enough to believe that even with a BAC of .15 I drive better than the majority of the people on the road. I often walk my dog through our commercial district in town and it seems like every person I see is talking on a cell phone or texting while driving. I even see parents doing it with their teenage children sitting next to them. Nice example.
So as not to contradict anything I said in a prior blog post, I also have engrained in my memory the thought of the mom holding her 6 year old daughter’s decapitated head in the back of a limo after it was severed in a crash with a drunk driver a few years back. That certainly deters me as well; however, fear of getting a DUI is the main reason I don’t drive. At least I don’t do it.
The one day that I know I went overboard over the holidays was yesterday. I had 14 drinks. It was spread out over 10 hours, but still a lot for one day. I think the reason I did it was because I knew it was my last day drinking for 4 weeks. Today, I start my annual dry January, well at least 4 weeks. I will not drink from Mon 1/2 until Mon 1/30. It seems like it would make sense to just finish the month out, but I am traveling to Chicago on business on 1/30. I know that when I am done, will have a drink or 2 with some of my work peers.
I have actually been looking forward to a dry 4 weeks. I know that is easy to say tonight as I am usually dry Mon-Thurs anyway. I might change that thought come the weekend, but I don’t think so.
Happy New Year …..
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Tags: AA, alcoholism, blood alcohol content, vodka
January 3, 2012 at 4:10 am |
I just found your blog and have read much of it. I applaud you on your 4 weeks of dry. Years ago (probably 10 or so) I couldn’t make it till noon before the need for a drink drove me nuts. Friends asked if I needed an intervention after I already knew I had a problem.
I count like you do now and have very similar manerisms regarding drinking. I have been thinking about doing a dry spell like I used to in years past. I have a fear of going back and feeling the need take over my life again. After reading your blog, I think I’m going get back on the annual dry spell as well. It has always done me well to know that I am the one in control.
I appreciate you sharing all this. Thank you.
January 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm |
Dave, Thanks for the comment and good luck with your dry spell, whatever length it may be. I need and enjoy them dry periods. There was a time in my life where I feared even a day of non drinking. Now, I actually look forward to my dry January’s. It allows me to prove to myself that I am in control and not the booze, plus it feels great physically.
Good luck ….
January 3, 2012 at 6:00 am |
Happy New Year, You Moderation Monster!
Any reason not drink and drive is a good reason, in my book.
Good luck on your 4 week break, brother, and have an excellent 2012.
January 5, 2012 at 2:37 am |
Congratulations on two successful years of moderation! I don’t think you did anything wrong here. It was the holidays, you didn’t put anyone in danger except possibly you and your dog while walking drunk. And you weren’t out of control. So what’s wrong with a planned break? You got the buzz but you paid your dues.
(Not that I would do it…. 14 drinks in a day? The days when my body could handle that are long gone, I fear.)
Last night as I was drifting to sleep my alcoholic mind was plotting a scheme for you to put a cap on your “over indulgences.” The idea would be that you would start the year with a stash of about 2.25 liters of vodka, which would be your reserve. Anytime you exceed your 15 drink limit in a week, you have to remove the excess from your reserve. And at the end of the year, if you had a surplus, you could indulge. I felt like it would just make things more meaningful . But maybe too much work.
Anyway, keep up the great work!
Cheers
January 6, 2012 at 9:26 pm |
Hi ITSB, Happy New Year and thanks for thinking of me. I like your reserve vodka idea in concept; however, it is a little complicated. The tough part would be storage. I don’t like to store vodka in too many places as my wife still does not know I drink it. To be safe, I would have to put it in the garage which is detached and in the back of the yard. I’m not sure I would take the walk out there for an extra drink if I felt I wanted it. If it were a week that I planed to go over, that would not be a problem.
You got me thinking though. First of all, I have not gone back and counted yet, but I really don’t think I went over my limit of 15 too often. I will guess more in the latter part of the year as I seemed to slip a little more as the year went on. So, I am going to set a to do for msyelf to go back and read my own blog to see how often I went over and when I did, when was it planned and when was it a slip.
If I think I need some type of plan in place, I will consider yours, another or a combo.
Thanks !!
January 7, 2012 at 3:34 am
Agreed. Keeping an actual reserve in storage is impractical and risky. But with careful accounting, you could deduct whatever “sippy slips” you make from a virtual reserve of say 40-50 drinks, knowing that if you do so early in the year then you would not be able to indulge during your August and December holiday periods. The size of the virtual reserve (spillover?) should be determined during your dry period in January. The important point is that you can only take from the virtual reserve. So, if you only drink 10 drinks in one week, you cannot add the other 5 to the reserve. And to keep things real, you should include the size of the reserve with your posts.
Man I wish I could do what you do.
January 8, 2012 at 7:13 am
On further reflection, I would say the ideal “virtual reserve” would be 60 drinks. That reason for this number is that you have a 4-week dry spell in January, where you are abstaining from your usual 15 drinks a week. By setting your reserve to 60 drinks and keeping to your 15 drink a week limit with 60 exceptions or less, you will be honestly able to say that you averaged 15 drinks/week or less for 2012.
So the rules would be:
1) You have a “soft limit” of 15 drinks/week.
2) If you go over the 15/drink max, then you have to deduct drinks from your reserve.
3) If the reserve is depleted, the 15 drink/week becomes a hard limit.
And the idea is to keep the reserve until the December Holidays. This should keep you under control.
January 9, 2012 at 5:16 pm
I like it. I still would like to go back and look or at least glance at last year to see how many times I went past my 15 limit. A 60 drink reserve over 48 weeks would allow me “up to” an extra 1.25 drinks per week. I don’t think I had that many in 2011. The keys to making this work would be for me to accept that 15 is a limit and not a goal. And, that my limits have not gone up by 1.25 per week and the reserve should only be used for planned purposes (golf tournament, vacation, xmas holiday).
Overall, I like it though.
January 9, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Yes, 60 did seem a bit much. So perhaps the reserve should also be used to enforce the other rules in your plan. That is, if you drink on a dry day or go over 5 drinks on a given day, these drinks must come from your reserve even if you are under a total of 15 for the week.
January 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm |
So, two years of moderation… any plans of bringing your drinking habits out in the open? Instead of the continued secrecy?
January 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm |
Thanks for the comment, Nicole. Actually, not at this time. The issue is that my wife knows I drink beer and wine and I do it openly in front of her. However, she does not know I drink vodka and I would like to keep it that way. What I would like to do this year is drink less vodka and more beer and wine. Sounds like a trade off; however, I think my overall consumption would go down if I did that. It is just way to easy to drink shots of vodka. I do, however, appreciate the comment and will give it some more thought as the year goes on.
Happy New Year ….