Successful vacation, by my standards anyway …

OK, I am behind on my posts  again.  There was a time when that meant I was avoiding the blog because I had not been good.  Not the case here.  Just very busy at work.

Well, the ski vacation went well I would say.  First, I only had one beer while skiing over 3 days. As I mentioned during my last blog, that was actually very easy.   Skiing with my daughter and some of her same age friends was not conducive to being buzzed.  Actually, at this stage in my life, skiing period is does not mix with booze.  I enjoyed it much better without it.  It was only on the last day, after several hours of skiing that I stopped and had one beer around 12noon while my daughter was in a ski lesson.

That being said, what made this vacation better, from a drinking perspective, was that I did not have my first drink (except that one Saturday) until after 5pm.  This is in contrast to vacations where I am on a beach and find it very difficult not to have that first drink immediately after my morning workout, usually around 10am when I first hit the beach.  You can figure out where my day used to go from there.

I allotted one liter of vodka for the 4 day trip.  Roughly 8 oz a day or 5 drinks a day.  Might seem like a lot to some, but not to me on vacation.  I would add usually a combo of 3 beer/wine to that for 8 a day.  Of course, my wife saw me drink 3 drinks a day.

I fully recognize that 8 drinks a day, 4 days in a row is more than normal and not healthy.  However, if you have followed my blog for any length of time, I think you would agree that is an improvement.  I was happy with it anyway.

Since coming back from vacation, I have been back in my normal routine.  No drinking Mon-Thurs, I  bought a 1.75 liter of vodka on 3/1 that I plan to have last the month.  This will not be easy as it is a 5 weekend month.  I got past the first weekend with what I think was a reasonable amount.   The plan is that if I run out, I go without until the beginning of the next month.  Of course the risky part of my plan is that I can have as much beer and wine as I want.  Although, this plan has not been tested thoroughly yet, I still think it will work as I just don’t drink that much beer or wine.  It goes down to slow.

New Plan Doomed Already

No, I have not gone off the deep end.  And my drinking in February has been normal, well as normal as it can be for a problem drinker.  The problem is that when I laid out my new plan of sticking to one 1.75 liter of vodka a month, I forgot I was going on vacation next week.

I guess had I factored this in at the beginning fo the month, I COULD have stretched the 1.75 out to still make my plan work, but I honestly forgot. And, also honestly, I doubt very much I would have done it anyway.  I don’t vacation often and like to drink a little extra when I do. 

I have no plans of going on a drinking binge as I will be with my wife, daughter, and another couple and their 2 kids in a small house.  And, we are going skiing which means I will easily be able to delay my drinking until later in the day, something I find very difficult to do when vacationing on a beach.

When I was younger and single, skiing would mean a beer or 2 and or one or 2 shots of 100 proof schnapps before ever taking my first ski run, and then drinking from the boda bag throughout the day. Those days are over.   This time it will be about fresh air, exercise and teaching my 8 year old daughter how to ski for the first time.

So, I will restart my 1.75 liter plan in March which will be a challenge in itself as it is a 5 weekend month.

Sundays are dangerous

I bet some are thinking from the title of this post that I had another slip.  Nope, not even close.  However, I did get a reminder that Sundays have long been a problem for me.  I went through my 4^th weekend with no temptations or cravings to drink at all, until Sunday. 

Anyone who has read my blog for a while will know that I often struggle on Sundays and because of that go over my 15 drink a week limit.   Why, I am not really sure, but I think might be because the drinking I do on Fri and Sat progresses.   In other words, if I chose to drink on Tues and Wed, Thurs might be a problem.  Not sure about that, but it is the only theory I have for now.

Anyway, Fri and Sat came and went with no desire to drink. But, on Sunday, I had some fairly strong cravings.   I was not tempted.   To have been temped would have meant that I thought about having a drink. I never came close.  There was no way I was going to give in with only a few days to go.

The lesson going forward for me is to just be wary of Sundays and pay close attention to not going over my limits.  I can also admit that I am far more alert on Mondays and thus more productive at work since I have gone dry 4 weekends this month.

Busy is a good thing to keep the drinking low

Sorry for the gap in my posts.  I expanded my business by purchasing a new franchise territory as of May 1st.  What this means for me right now is a lot of extra work.  Hopefully, it will pay off financially down the road.

On top of that, if you have read any of my recent posts, I have been competing in a speech contest.  The last round was this past Saturday night where I presented in front of 300 people.  I did not win but it was an awesome experience.

The other good news is that both expanding the business and practicing for the speech has kept my drinking low.  I have been sticking with my dry days Mon-Thurs.  This past week leading up the contest, I added Friday as well and did not have my first drink of the week until after 9pm on Saturday night.  I felt I needed to stay dry to prepare for the contest.   I think 6 days dry in a row accomplished that (sun-sat).  It sure was good to have a stiff shot of vodka after the contest though.  I was well under my 15 max for the week.

I can tell you those 6 dry days really felt good.  It just proves that even 15 drinks a week can affect you.  Some will of course say, “then why drink at all?”.  My answer is that I also enjoy drinking and I think that 15 drinks is a good balance between the 2.

For the other weeks that I missed reporting on, I was right at my maximums of 15 drinks for the week.

Excuses NOT to drink

I can come up with a million reasons to drink. One of the ways to counteract that is to have as many as possible reasons not to drink.  I have discussed this many times. 

 Some of my reasons for not drinking are to be a responsible parent and husband and to be a responsible business owner.  However, it is the more specific activities that help week after week.   As of now, those are: basketball, softball, public speaking, important business appointments and any time I have to drive somewhere.  I need to make sure I have a constant stream of these activities scheduled each week to give me enough excuses not to drink, especially on the weekends.

 This past weekend I ended up with 12 drinks, 3 under my 15 max. The reason was because I had a very important speech contest last night (Mon).  Not only did I need a clear head to practice on Sunday, I needed to be at my best come speech time.  So, my normal 5 or 6 Sunday drinks did not fit into my schedule.

 As it turns out, I had 3 on Sunday, all after 5pm when I was done practicing, but still too many.  I will admit, yesterday (Sun) was a tough day. The drinking urges were very strong, but the desire to do well in the contest was stronger.  I decided to give myself a reward, however, and allow myself to have the 3 drinks I was under last week after the speech contest last night. 

 I won the contest and had the drinks. I enjoyed them and felt I earned them. For the record, I know this is cheating, but I am counting them for last week.  Again, I think I earned it.

 The real good news is that winning the contest gave me another reason not to drink, that is the next contest.  At the next level, I will be delivering the speech to over 300 people in May.  Since the next contest is on a Saturday, I plan to not drink Mon-Sat, or at least until after the speech on Sat.  I will need to be at my best, and that means no alcohol.

Beer and wine get me more buzzed than vodka

15 drinks last week, 3 days dry. Only 3 days dry because I had a single drink on Monday night of last week.  Unfortunately, I can’t remember why.  I do need to remember to document these things.  Anyway, no big deal, I am only committed to 3 dry days a week but usually do 4 anyway.  Also, a “onesie” (having only one drink in a night) is considered to be an accomplishment by some in Moderation Management.

Although I stayed within my limits, I am not thrilled. I should have been under.  Why? 2 reasons,  I continue to have a problem with Sundays and I continue to have 15 each week when it should be only a limit, not a goal.

On Friday, when work ended, I decided to go pick up some vodka since I was out and my wife and daughter were having dinner at a friend’s house.  However, my car battery wouldn’t start.  Hmmmm, my wife left the keys in the car with the ignition on, mistake or planned?  Anyway, I could have rode my bicycle since it was nice out, but opted to stay home and limit myself to wine and beer which I had plenty of.  Result, I had 3 beers and one glass of wine.  Interestingly, I felt more buzzed than if I had my usual 4 vodkas and one glass of wine. Why is it that vodka does not seem to get me buzzed unless I drink a lot of it?  I guess I should drink more beer and wine and less vodka.  However, that is tougher to hide.

I had 5 on Saturday for a 2 day total of 10.  Having 3 or 4 drinks on Sun to end up at 13 or 14 should have been easy. But nooooo, I had 5 on Sunday to get to my 15.

Oh well, should be dry Mon-Thurs this week and we’ll see how the weekend goes.

The first drink is the best

Last week went fine, dry during the work week and had 15 spread out on the weekend.

I have noticed often lately something I have known for a long time: the first drink is the best.  I truly do like that initial buzz.  And, I know some aren’t going to like this, but it is even better when I start with 2 drinks quick, 2 shots or a beer or glass of wine and a shot.   I have learned to try be in a relaxing situation when I have that initial drink, but that does not happen too often.

The downside is that initial buzz fades quickly, maybe a half hour.  Then, I try and get it back by having another drink but the follow up buzz never seems to be as good.  I suspect that is part of the problem for many problem drinkers, chasing that “good” buzz.

How good a buzz is also as a lot to do with what I am doing and how I am feeling.  If I am relaxing it is usually good.  If I am busy, it not necessarily bad, but it is not as good, maybe just because I can’t relax to enjoy it. 

When I was younger I think I drank more when I was happy and things were going well.  If not, it was not a good time to drink and I didn’t  drink, at least not as much.  I don’t think it was a conscious choice, it just happened and that is the way it should be.

Later on in life, what got me in trouble was my increasing drinking as a result of things not going well, mainly with work.  I need to remember that.

14 days sober, 14 to go

On day 14 of 28 days dry.  I used to use the word sober instead of dry. However, that is not accurate, as even when I drink I am usually sober.  Then, I guess everyone’s idea of what sober means is different also.  I use sober in the title here as it comes up in searches more often.

 Have I had cravings the last 14 days?  Yes.  Have I come close to close to giving in? No.  Overall, it has been relatively easy.  I think part of it is because I am more cognizant today of my triggers and how to get passed cravings.   I am also very competitve and to give in would mean I would have to admit failure.

 Cravings sometimes come at times when I would expect them to, and other times out of the blue.  On Friday nights triggers are expected.  Friday nights at dinner time is when I would normally have my first drink of the week.  So, to have my wife and one or two  others, as we often seem to have visitors on Friday eve, open a bottle of wine in front of me, I often have craving.  But, I also had one while reading an article about how Miller Lite had taken over Budweiser as the #2 beer in the country.  Just reading the article made me crave an ice cold Bud. Or, maybe I wanted to help them regain the lead.

 In any event, getting over the cravings is much easier today.  When something silly happens like getting a craving while reading an article, I simply change my thought to something else.  When I have a craving on Friday eve, I can simply walk to another room for a few minutes.  I have mentioned this many times before, but I can also eat to squash a craving.   The more the better.  I rarely crave booze when I have a full stomach.

I noticed again this year that my wife has not seemed to notice that I am not drinking.  Either she notices more than she lets on and chooses not to say anything or she simply doesn’t pay as much attention to it as she once did. I always join her in a beer or a glass of wine on Fri and Sat night dinner.   But, 2 weeks in a row I passed and she said nothing. 

 I was reading a few of my blog posts from one year ago.  The first post after my dry January period stated that I went 2 drinks over the first week of resumed drinking.  I already know that my first week back is going to be a challenge.  I am sure I will have a couple of drinks the first night as I will be in Chicago for some training and I will be with a bunch of peers.  Then, on the way home the next day, I plan to have a beer before hopping on the plane. The next night is the last night of our basketball season and we will be going out for drinks after the game.   Finally, on Sunday is the Super Bowl.   There’s a lot of triggers that week. I will have to give it some more thought and come up with a plan.

Xtra days off means xtra drinking

I can honestly say that I over drank during Thanksgiving weekend; however, not by too much.   The extra drinking had nothing to do with it being a holiday, except that holidays mean extra days off for many of us including me. Extra days off means extra drinking. 

So, I had a few, I think 3 on Wed eve.  I probably had 8 on Thanksgiving, but that was spread over the whole day.  I played basketball at 8am on Friday and worked a half day, so I don’t feel guilty about it.  Then I had around 5 on Fri & Sat and 4 on Sun.   Although I wasn’t counting, that comes out to about 25 drinks for the week, 10 over my limit.

I realize that is not a healthy amount and I need to be careful not to slip back into my old ways.  But (here is my rationalization), many, if not most of the people around me had more drinks than usual during the long Thanksgiving weekend.  If it were not for the long weekend, I would not have drank on Wed or Thur.

Anyway, I am back on track having stayed dry Mon, Tues, Wed & Thurs.  And, I must admit, I do feel better today than on any of the days I was drinking.  I took Monday off from exercise but worked out hard each day from Tues through this morning.  The combination of exercise and no alcohol really is a good feeling.

I plan to stay dry the whole month of January (actually Jan 1 to Jan 30) for the 3^rd year in a row.  I am actually looking forward to it.  I know I have gone over my limits too much in the last couple of months and it will be good for me to reset.  Funny, the first time I went through a 30 day dry period, I was somewhat frightened.  Now, I am looking forward to it.

Holiday weekend coming up

Last week was good …., and bad.  Good because I stayed at 15 drinks and 3 days dry. Bad, because my goal was to go under 15.   Since I was at a conference until 10pm Saturday night, I figured maybe I could get through the week with only around 12 drinks.  Then, I could use the extra 3 for Thanksgiving week.  Good plan, bad execution. 

I had 6 already going into Saturday, 5 Friday and one with the guys after basketball on Wed eve.  But, I ended up having 4 drinks between 10pm and midnight on Saturday.  I was tired after a long day, but still needed to unwind before going to bed.  So, I had a double shot of vodka and then 2 glasses of wine.

Still no big deal, but then I needed to only have a couple on Sunday to execute my plan.   But, as always Sundays are problem days for me.  I ended up having what is turning out to be my usual 5.  Not all at once, not enough for a big buzz, but enough for a relaxing buzz.

So, I hit my goals for the week, but now am facing a long holiday weekend.  To be honest, I am not even going to try to stay at 15.  I probably should, but I won’t.   I have a basketball game on Wednesday night.  I will go out with the guys after.  Last week and on usual work nights, I will limit myself to one, this week I will probably have a couple.  I am not working on Thanksgiving day and probably will only work a few hours on Friday.  So, I expect I will drink Wed, Thurs, Fri and Sat.  I will consider the weekend a success if I stay dry on Sunday.   I will need it to complete my 3 dry days.   And, if I can stay dry on Sunday, I will be fine at work on Monday morning.

Some might see my relaxing my rules as a bad sign, but I am not too worried about it.  I will still probably drink far less than others I am with over the holiday weekend.  And, certainly a lot less than I would have been drinking a few years ago.