3 days sober but the weekend is near and the cravings are coming

At the end of today, I will have competed 3 days sober. After the last week I needed it.  As I get older or deeper into alcoholism (maybe a combo) the toll on my body and mind is more evident.  It took me 3 days to recover from my last binge.  It could have been a form of detox I was going through but it was not the same as when I detoxed in the hospital 2 ½ years ago. Then, I had been drinking every day for a very long time. Now, I usually drink for 3 days and take 4 off. 

I have been very tired and had a hard time getting going each day.  I have not worked out for 10 days now. I have not done that in years.  I don’t feel guilty about that though, I have been working out 6 days a week for a very long time and I think my body needed a break anyway. I think many of us alcoholics have a hard time doing many things in moderation. For me exercise is another thing I tend to overdo. My wife says I am obsessed with it.  However, it makes me feel good, and if you are going to be addicted to anything, it might as well be exercise.

Anyway, the first 3 days of the week were tough for work. I did work every day, but did not get as much accomplished as I could have.  I can really see the difference when I am free of alcohol. I only had a little Monday and nothing on Tue and Wed and I feel a lot better today, I am more focused and work and ideas are swirling around my head, big difference from last Monday.

I plan to stick to my liter of vodka a week.  That means I will most likely pick up a liter tomorrow and spread it out over the weekend. If I can keep it to a liter and leave one shot for Monday, that will be a success. Even if I don’t leave the Monday shot, as long as I don’t pick up anymore before the following Friday, I will be good.

When I tell myself I am not going to drink and when I don’t have any alcohol in the house, I don’t obsess over it all that much. I can’t say I don’t think about it because I do; however, I don’t obsess.  When I am getting closer to the drink or if I have it around, that is when it drives me a little crazy. Tomorrow I will be out on a business appointment. I will pick up the vodka after my meeting and be back in my home office by around 2:00pm.  It is then that I obsess about it.  I will be thinking about that first drink for the next 3 hours until 5:00pm. That is when I have to be careful. The cravings change me physically and mentally. At that stage only a big shot will calm me down, like at least a 3 oz, which is really 2 drinks.  Sometimes I think I would be better off with just a little bit each day, but they I would never got that good buzz and I don’t have the confidence  in myself to stop at that little bit.


5 Responses to “3 days sober but the weekend is near and the cravings are coming”

  1. chris Says:

    hey im ending my third day of sobrity. i been drinking for the past three years on and off i been in alot of trouble. i been divorced i been to jail, lost jobs and lost my car. i got into fights and i been a wreck towards my family. i believe u should stop drinking im gonna try doin it for good this time. im gonna use my higher power to help. cuz friends r no help at all cuz , their not ready to quit. if u need help quitting like i do send email.

  2. Charles Says:

    You pretty much have the same type of thinking as me. I love to binge but I really love taking time off from it. I would say that I live in the real world but sometimes the darkside sucks me in for a night a week and spits me out feeling like crap, doing the same detox thing over again. I would never be a everyday drinker and I have a hard time relating to those who do that to themselves everyday. I still however drink very hard and manage to keep my job, friends, and family. I have lost jobs in the past from the mental consequences of anxiety, panic attacks, and irritiability in the workplace. Since I am on medication, I feel a lot better.

    Let me just say this. Quitting drinking for me is impossible. I know I need to cut back and enjoy 4 beers instead of a binge. I love the feeling of intoxication once a week to every other week. I know its not right but thats who I am. If I can binge in moderation, maybe two to three times a month and take two weeks off per month completely sober than I think things will get better. Binge cycle alcoholics are better off in the long run than everyday drunks… I think? They just need to know how it affects them and just cut back and stick to a plan. Anything in moderation is ok in life. Just don’t get behind the wheel are a vehicle and not be aggressive towards other when your drinking. I also think drinking over 10 beers is too much. If you want to binge stick to 5-10 and drink lots of water, juices, sodas etc. If this is who are you than you really can’t help it. You watch after yourself and don’t do it or think about all the time. Its just alcohol.

    • Moderation Says:

      Charles, thanks for the comment. I agree that an occassional binge is better than daily drinking, though both are harmful. People that drink every day, usually do so because they are addicted. When I was doing it, I felt I couldn’t stop even when I wanted to. So, I sought help and I am glad I did. Finally, be careful of saying that quitting drinking is impossible for you. It is not, anyone can do it if they need to and find the right support. I’m not saying you need to, just saying that it is possible. Take care …

  3. steve Says:

    I have had this binge thing going on for the last 10 years. I was sober for over 16 years and picked up about 10 years ago, maybe a bit longer. In really taking a hard look at the pattern I have been living I can honestly admit that it has not served me well. It interferes with a flow,a consistency that brings my life order. I have been sober a short time and read just recently that I would do much better if I started the day by saying I will not drink today “NO MATTER WHAT”!! Magic phrase. I want to be sober and know that the self medicating has been, and will continue to be, a danger to me and those I love in my life. I wish all well including myself. the truth is alcohol will never serve me, never has, and the exam to control and enjoy my drinking has not worked.

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